Trying for a Baby Without Success
22 August, 2015
A couple have been trying for a baby for a long period of time without success. They have been to doctors and tried various fertility treatments, but there seems to be no medical problem. Could this be related to the jinn? If so, what actions can they take to remedy the problem?
With regard to having children, the first step is to recognise that being able to successfully conceive is in the hands of Allāh alone. Allāh said:
"To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what he wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males. Or He gives both males and females, and He renders barren whom He wills. Indeed, He is the All-Knower and is Able to do all things." 42:49-50
After recognising this fundamental truth, we must be aware that there are two aspects to this:
- That Allāh alone has the power to bless a couple with a child.
- That Allāh has placed in this world means through which this can be achieved.
If we ignore either of these two aspects, then we are falling short in our efforts. Therefore, a couple should make a strong effort to learn the means which Allāh has placed on this earth to achieve and facilitate having children, but they should never ignore the fact that those means can never be effective in of themselves; rather, they are only effective when they are recognised for what they are: a practical step that can be taken in conjunction with seeking the help of Allāh, and trusting in Him alone.
Based on the above, I have the following advice for couples who are struggling to have children:
- Taking yourself to account, and seeking the forgiveness of Allāh, as He said, "I said (to them): 'Ask forgiveness from your Lord; Verily, He is Oft-Forgiving; He will send [rain from] the sky upon you in [continuing] showers, and give you increase in wealth and children and provide for you gardens and provide for you rivers." 71:10-12. This was the advice of al-Ḥasan al-Baṣrī (may Allāh have mercy on him) to the one who complained that they were unable to have children; and it is a golden piece of advice for those whom Allāh blesses with the ability to act upon it.
- Focusing on prayers and the daily remembrance of Allāh. It's amazing how many people are able to overcome the worst of calamities with with these two simple things. Allāh said: "O you who believe! Seek help in patience and prayer, indeed Allāh is with the patient." 2:153
- Supplicate with both general supplications, and specifically the du‘ā of Zakariyyā, and other supplications from the Qur'an that the prophets (may the peace and blessings of Allāh be upon them) said before Allāh blessed them with children. Be careful to observe the proper etiquette of supplicating, and the things which help your supplications to be accepted.
- Follow the proper etiquette of martial relations, particularly this supplication, and avoiding forbidden practices; since Allāh does not put blessings in that which is forbidden.
- Have the intention of being grateful to Allāh and thanking Him for the blessings of a child, through word and action. Learn a lesson from these aayaat. This also includes not getting angry with the decree of Allāh, and thanking Him for the countless other blessings that He has already given you.
For those who are concerned regarding problems relating to the jinn, I would advise the following two resources to begin with:
- How Can I Protect Myself?
- The 7 Day Ruqyah Programme, moving on to The Full Ruqyah Programme, should you feel it necessary.
Finally, I would like to emphasise once again that sins are as much of a reason for not being able to have children as jinn problems, if not more. Do not use the jinn as an excuse to delay your repentance or to gloss over the mistakes that you are making. Even if it is jinn related, repentance is equally important. I would also like to emphasise that there is no harm in seeking medical advice, providing that medical advice does not exceed the limits of what is permissible for a Muslim.
May Allāh make the situation of those who have been tried in this way easy, and bless them with children that will benefit them in this world and the next,